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If There Was A Madden For Politics, Who Is Our Saquon Barkley? 

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The Madden 26 cover will feature Saquon Barkley’s iconic backwards hurdle over a defender (hilariously, they recreated the shot instead of letting a Jacksonville Jaguar even accidentally on that cover…DUVAL!!!). The image captured in real life was amazing as is the recreation. No question Saquon Barkley should have been NFL MVP last year. Madden gets it. 

Madden is a video game that allows players to play out NFL football games playing with real players and teams. The game is known for its realism and close collaboration with the NFL. 

So what if there was a “Madden” for Washington politics? Who would our cover depict? 

  1. Marco Rubio: Playing for every team in every position. Has all the jobs. 
  1. Pete Hegseth: The hot one. The Joe Burrough of DC politics. 
  1. Chip Roy and Mike Johnson: On the same team…technically. 
  1. Melania and Barron Trump: Legendary authority. Note: Chat GPT was very ethically opposed to me recreating Barron which is probably for the best so use your imagination.
  1. Kristi Noem and Tom Homan: YOU’RE OUT OF HERE! Don’t over think this one.
  1. Karoline Leavitt: Block and tackle, baby. 
  1. J.D. Vance: Star. Political athlete. Future of the franchise.
  1. Donald Trump Jr., Eric Trump, Laura Trump, Ivanka Trump and Jared Kushner: Karma is a Commander in Chief coming straight home to me
  1. Donald Trump: Quarter backing the whole nation