Your Halloween Costume Based on Your Political Spirit Animal

Halloween is around the corner and whether you’re trick-or-treating with your kids, hosting a Halloween party or participating in your church’s trunk-or-treat, you might be in need of a costume. 

There are a million ways to choose a costume but the best way is to first ask yourself: which politician do you most closely align with spiritually? 

Here are your costume recommendations based on the politician you most closely identify with (yeah this is a valid measure): 

RFK: K-Pop Demon Hunters

If you’re a crunchy or enjoy fitness and a healthy lifestyle or if you’ve ever gone on a rant about “Big Pharma” your spirit animal is RFK. The perfect Halloween costume for you is K-Pop Demon Hunters. The most popular original movie on Netflix ever, the plot is that a girl pop group, Huntr/x, moonlights hunting demons. Then some demons devise a plan to become a rival pop group to defeat their magical powers. If that isn’t a metaphor for the battle against Red Dye 40 for the soul of America I don’t know what is.

Kristi Noem: Taylor Swift, The Life of a Show Girl 

Do you see the world as your stage? Do you have a flare for theatrics? Would you never leave your house without makeup?  Kristi Noem is your political patronus and the perfect halloween costume for you is Taylor Swift as The Life of a Show Girl. The new album is all about being a constant performer and that is exactly what we have in Kristin Noem with her FBI costumes, her airport monologues and her curated cinema quality propaganda reels. 

Ben Shapiro: Elpheba from Wicked: For Good

If you are someone who thinks they know everything and has never been wrong and have deep friendships with people who don’t agree with you all of the time, Ben Shapiro is your muse. And the perfect costume for Ben Shapiro is Elpheba from Wicked: For Good coming out really soon. For the first installment of Wicked, Ben gave a very warm and lengthy positive review to the film and especially Cynthia Erivo’s performance as Elpheba. It’s his favorite and now it’s your favorite. 

J.D. Vance: Any kind of super hero

Has anyone ever described you as unflappable? You’re a parent, you’re renovating your house or building a deck, you work all day and you still have time for your bowling league and a good sense of humor. You are the backbone of your community and you are J.D. Vance. The perfect costume for a J.D. Vance is a classic costume, pick your super hero. 

Marco Rubio: Barbie 

If you’re the kind of person who is always busy, has three jobs and is looking for more and uses their weekends for their new event planning business idea: you’re a Marco Rubio. You and Marco should be dressing as the OG of many jobs, Barbie herself. 

President Donald. J. Trump: Diet Coke 

Are you the most powerful person in the world? Have you never failed a negotiation? Are you both admired and hated by millions of people all over the world? Did the British Royal Family honor you with their first ever state reception of a U.S. President? Did you broker peace in the middle east? If yes, you might be a Donald J. Trump. And there is one thing President Trump loves, it’s Diet Coke. And that’s the perfect thing to celebrate this Halloween.