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The Conservative Critic

Could this be the most out-of-touch show ever made?

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Following the hundreds of oh so ~clever~ and ~original~ liberal think pieces in publications like the ironically named, Variety written about the evils of the traditional sitcom and specifically the two season sitcom, Kevin Can Wait, the oh so very clever and original precious dark comedy Kevin can F*** Himself was released on AMC this week (not even on streaming, sad!). 

The show was so petty, offensive and poorly done that there is no mystery that the Conservative Critic will be giving it a million thumbs down. But I will still be answering: Is it Entertaining (no)? Does it have artistic/intellectual value (no) and is it liberal propaganda (the worst I’ve seen in a long time)? So buckle up for a rundown of quite possibly the most out of touch show ever conceptualized in a Hollywood read room. It’s so bad it broke my meters. 

Honestly just scroll down to the liberal propaganda question because that is the root of all its problems. 

The Conservative Critic Meter Check: Kevin Can F*** Himself

Overall Rating: Off the Charts BAD

Anytime a show was invented just to “stick it” to someone – it’s probably not going to get off to a very good start. Petty tit-for-tat isn’t exactly the strongest foundation for much more than a 4 minute break-up song. 

Valerie Armstrong is a little known screenwriter who has done some episodes of the TV show, SEAL and by her own admission to Variety wrote the concept of the show in “anger” because the iconic comedian, Kevin James, had the audacity to write his own show about himself and to fire an actress whose chemistry was not working on the show. Whether or not the show in question, Kevin Can Wait, is sexist or isn’t sexist is really neither here nor there. To make an entire show based on telling Kevin James to “f***” off is plainly a ridiculous, petty and rather pathetic idea. 

Setting aside its origins, the show features Canadians and Californians literally mocking working class people from Boston and pretty badly with their poorly constructed fake accents and hideous wardrobes. It plays a lot like aliens who landed on earth and do not know how humans speak or interact. The idea to do a fake bad multi-camera sitcom and then swap to the sort of dark internal monologue of the fake sitcom wife using a single camera drama style is interesting on its own. But it’s poorly executed because at least 40% of the show is an extremely (intentionally) bad sitcom which makes fun of things that a good chunk of Americans and viewers actually enjoy. Even the insults are so dusty and petty like look, ~Valerie~, people like Tom Brady. Get over it.

I could not more strongly encourage viewers to skip this rude and childish show.

Is it Entertaining? 

Rating: Both extremely boring and annoying 

The show for some reason runs for an hour instead of the half an hour it really needs to tell the story. This is not a surprise considering the obvious hubris of its creator, writers and stars for even making it in the first place. 

The annoying sitcom style comedy portion of the show starring a distinctly less attractive (stylized to be so, no offense to the actor, Eric Peterson, known for his many guest spots on sitcoms like Big Bang Theory) version of Kevin James based very clearly and by the admission of the writer on King of Queens except with very bad jokes and plot lines (which King of Queens never had. More on this below) is impossible to enjoy and takes up a good half of the episode. 

The dramatic asides are only occasionally interesting and is mainly just Annie Murphy (Schitts Creek) as Allison walking around being a victim of her own choices making faces I think the actress thinks are signature or cute. There is a scene where she flips off the house she lives in and it’s super cringe. It’s insufferable to behold.

Does it have any intellectual/artistic value? 

Rating: Meritless but BOY do they think it does

Oh boy do these creators and stars think they are the cleverest little flowers in the field. Before the show even released, when it actually tested pretty badly with audiences the creator, ~Valerie~ was telling publications that “some people won’t get it.” Yeah, I’m sure it’s that people don’t get it, not that it is bad. 

Even the promotional poster with Annie Murphy’s forced smirk is enough to make skin crawl. “How cute and clever are we?” it says. 

What the show has is an idea that’s new and if it could be executed well perhaps the show would have some merit. 

Unfortunately it is executed through poorly constructed wandering, Annie Murphy doing an extremely poor Boston accent, 0 nuance, and a dingy look at a town the likes of which many Americans love and call home. 

Is it liberal propaganda? 

Rating: Think Hillary 2016 but make it less apologetic 

Remember when in 2016, Hillary Clinton called all the Trump voters a “basket of deplorables?” and the entire democratic party was completely out of touch with working class Americans and saw them as these villains of society? Well I guess in Hollywood that is still the sentiment. 

The entire show is one big mockery of working class America. The concept is that traditional sitcoms feature men married to certain women that all Americans think “wow how did THAT GUY end up with her?” The belief that Americans think that working class men without college educations who enjoy beer and football don’t deserve quality women is extremely offensive and incorrect. Not only does this point of view insult a huge percentage of American men who power the very systems which make life for the elite so plush such as – in the case of Kevin can F*** Himself, cable installation professionals (also package delivery professionals like in King of Queens), but it also insults the women who in real life married these kinds of men. Is the assumption here that women who are currently married to working class men must be ugly? Not pretty and interesting like the women on tv? What exactly are these jerks trying to say? 

I’m not projecting when I say the show is directed at Kevin James specifically and based on King of Queens. ~Valerie~ the show creator who I and no one knows anything about but I assume is not from working class America, outright said the show was based on those things. But she was so wrapped up in her own hang ups and delusions about sitcom stereotypes she completely missed the mark on what the shows are all about. 

First and foremost, King Of Queens ran for an astounding 207 episodes. That is a very popular and successful sitcom by any standards. The show was centered on a working class couple where Kevin James’s Doug played essentially a UPS delivery man (a union delivery man, very specifically a teamster, but I guess that’s not good enough for Hollywood) and his wife played by Hollywood dark horse, Leah Remini, Carrie, is a secretary at a law office. Carrie aspires to more and Doug likes things how they are. 

In Kevin Can F*** Himself, the Kevin character holds Allison back and pretty intentionally dismisses her desires and belittles her existence. In King of Queens, Carrie does go back to college. And Doug even takes on more work to support her. Further, Leah Remini was not some statue character designed to set up the whims of Doug. She makes a lot of the jokes and has very dynamic character arcs which focus on issues precious to women such as weight gain and loss, miscarrying a baby and even considering divorce. Carrie holds her own. And all the times Doug screws up and does the wrong thing in Carrie’s eyes, at no time did the show ever paint Doug as the hero. When Doug screws up, the comedy of the show is that he’s in the wrong. And typically, he makes it right before the credits.  

Shows like King of Queens speak to a wide demographic of Americans who have big dreams. Sometimes they achieve those dreams but they also make compromises and face life as it comes to them appreciating the small things like beers with friends, family and pizza nights. Not every person in America aspires to be some intellectual with an ironic smirk and expensive makeup. And most American women cherish family and their relationships – flawed as they may be – over new houses and fancier lifestyles. 

On Kevin James himself, the media has made it clear they think ~Valerie~ and Annie Murphy are heroes and he is just some mediocre no one who tells bad jokes and hates women. And yet, Kevin James, the star of King of Queens and Kevin can Wait, is in real life married to a super hot woman who absolutely would meet their Hollywood standard of aspiration (clearly working class women do not). They’ve been married for 15 years and have four children. 

Further his career is nothing short of a wild success. To imply its “mediocre” is embarrassing to ~Valerie~ who has about 9 writing credits to her name and Annie Murphy who was very well received on her one show that she did which ran for only 80 episodes (not quite 207 – though – Schitt’s Creek is a phenomenal show). Kevin James’s film, Paul Blart Mall Cop, which critics hated (they seemed to very much not realize it is a children’s movie) but audiences (again: children) loved, made $143 million at the box office. Its sequel made $107 million. His film, Zookeeper, made $120 million. His film Here Comes the Boom was one of his least successful and it made $70 million. Those are just the films he wrote, it’s not to mention the major successes he has starred in.

But let’s get real, Hollywood’s real problem with Kevin James is that he’s a conservative. More specifically – he’s not actively a progressive. He does not bow to their progressive political values and he makes material which is relatable to a demographic that the Hollywood elite clearly despise. 

Kevin Can F*** Himself is an exploration of the true depths of Hollywood arrogance. Not only do they have absolute contempt for working class Americans and the values of working class Americans but they also think that those Americans hate themselves. They cannot fathom that many many people choose and live happily in lives that have nothing to do with ~artists~ and their choices. These women who produced and made this show truly cannot believe that the choices they made and the priorities they have are not universal to all women. And they must assume these sad drab other women are held somehow captive in  a world with charmless husbands and charmless lives. 

The saddest part is that the liberal agenda is not intentional. These people just really think their offensive values are commonly held. 

Conclusion 

Kevin can F*** Himself is the most out of touch show ever made and deserves none of your time.  

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