Could this be true? An exploration of the plausibility of the wildest conspiracy theories

This is the kick off to a series that will work out how conspiracy theories could plausibly (even loosely) be true. Liberals will hate this series because they’re soulless no-funs without an ounce of a sense of humor or pallet for tongue and cheek. That’s how we know it’ll be great!

Lately a lot of things liberals called “conspiracy theories” have turned out to be pretty true. For example, recently a peer-reviewed study confirmed that the two major COVID-19 vaccines (Moderna and Pfizer) significantly increase the risk of myocarditis and therefore death. You may recall that any suggestion that any COVID vaccine might be unsafe was called not only a conspiracy theory but dangerous misinformation that was quickly censored. Also remember when they said it was a racist conspiracy theory that COVID-19 came from a Chinese lab leak? Then the independent investigators determined that it probably did come from a Chinese lab leak? 

So why not explore some of the more colorful and perhaps ostensibly outlandish conspiracy theories and instead of debunking them see how plausible they may be. 

The first in the series will be this wild one I learned from a Buzzfeed article attempting to debunk it – Katy Perry is actually JonBenet Ramsey whose death was faked. 

Let’s explore: 

The theory is simple: JonBenet Ramsey who is said to have been violently murdered when she was six years old was instead smuggled off and raised privately (theories abound on why) only to come out as the pop star Katy Perry. 

First let’s examine the physical resemblance. 

Ramsey and Perry obviously have a cursory resemblance. Similar large blue eyes, similar cheek bones. Similar smile and brow line. But to get a better idea we should look at what Perry claims to have looked like as a child compared. 

The young Katy Perry photo was posted to the pop singer’s instagram where she appears to be seven or eight years old, a bit older than JonBenet when she died. The similarities are clear between the set of the eyes, the slightly upturned nose and definitely the frame of the mouth. Next we can compare the physical appearance of JonBenet and Katy Perry’s children. 

Physical appearances don’t disprove the theory but they don’t prove it either. Let’s look at the facts that don’t seem to add up and see if we can explain them. 

• JonBenet Ramsey was born in 1990 (not disputed)  
• JonBenet Ramsey was murdered in 1996 (disputed by this theory) 
• Katy Perry was born in 1984 (disputed by this theory) 
• Katy Perry used to be called Katy Hudson (not disputed) 
• Katy Perry/Hudson grew up in Santa Barbara, California (not disputed) 
• Katy Perry Hudson was raised by ministers (not disputed) 
• Katy Perry Hudson first came into the public eye as a gospel singer in 2001 (not disputed) 

Let’s first examine the theory’s dispute of Katy Perry’s real age. With no access to her birth certificate, it would be impossible to totally prove or disprove her age and even with the certificate it can easily be faked. All we can do is look at the plausibility that Perry is actually five or six years younger than she says she is. 

We have recorded evidence of Katy Perry at allegedly age 16 in the year 2001. In order for the JonBenet theory to hold, the girl in this video would have to be 11 years old instead of 16. It seems like a bit of a stretch at first glance. But what is odd about the video is Perry/Hudson’s lack of articulation. Certainly a younger grasp on conversation than what would be expected of a 16-year old performer. She also is unable to sit still which can be a tell tale sign of youth. Further, it appears she may have a tooth missing. Let’s look at a still from the video compared to other known 11-year-olds. 

While Katy Perry/Hudson does look a bit older than the others, it’s fair to say that all of these girls could look older if they were trying and certainly had the same level of articulation and professionalism.

Based on this limited evidence, the theory that Katy Perry/Hudson might be a few years younger than she’s saying seems at least loosely plausible. 

Next lets examine the possibility that JonBenet Ramsey was not actually murdered. There was a lot very weird about the circumstances of the JonBenet murder and subsequent investigation and it remains one of the most disturbing and captivating cold cases in history. First there is the fact that her parents called the police to report her missing but had, apparently, not even searched their whole house first considering she was found 7 hours later in the basement. Second, there is the fact that upon the police arrival to search for the missing child they also did not immediately search the entire house or quarantine the house for that matter. 

However, there extremely ample evidence of a murder investigation and an autopsy report. If someone relocated JonBenet it means they would have had to collude with the coroner and the local police to use a body other than JonBenet’s for the investigation. This may be a bit far fetched, but the circumstances of the investigation were extremely strange. Is it possible the incompetence is a cover for the masterplan? 

To answer the “why” in the theory of Ramsey’s relocation it could be a few things. For one, Katy Perry/Hudson’s parents are a bit on the extreme side of ministry. Keith Hudson is a self-proclaimed endtimes preacher which can tip a little into the radical. It’s possible Keith and Mary became obsessed with the pageant girl somehow and took her to raise her in the light of God per their fear of the end times. 

All things considered – it may not be very likely but it does seem somewhat loosely plausible that Katy Perry could be a relocated JonBenet Ramsey. 

What other conspiracy theories that are much wider than the conservative political theories the left calls “far fetched” could be vaguely plausible?