J. Lo and Ben Affleck got married and I have hot takes

Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck got married in Las Vegas over the weekend of July 16, 2022 after dating 20 years ago. The liberal media is weirdly salivating (probably because Jennifer Lopez is a very annoyingly self righteous liberal) and rejoicing over this union, but frankly the pair is extremely messy and this will probably only end in tears. 

Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck were a darling couple of the early 00s. We used to call them Bennifer and in doing so the two basically invented “ship” (short for relationship so say the kids) names. They only dated for less than two years but left plenty of trouble in their wake. 

Let’s look at the problematic reality of Bennifer par deux: 

Their original relationship was less than 2 years long and they were both with other people within the two year timeline – not exactly a love story for the ages

• The couple actually got together on the set of Gigli (which is considered one of the worst movies ever made) before Lopez was divorced from her second husband, Chris Judd. This was between April and July of 2002
• The couple was already engaged to be married by November of 2002 with a ring worth a million dollars- seems legit and not manic at all 
• By July 2003, only one yearish since the couple even got together let alone got engaged, Ben Affleck was visiting strip clubs, maybe cheating, and Lopez wasn’t wearing her ring anymore
• The wedding is called off in September of 2003 because the couple claimed the media frenzy was too much 
• The couple officially announced they were over in January of 2004 
• Jennifer Lopez was literally fully married to someone else, Mark Antony, by June of 2004
• Affleck got together with another Jennifer (Jennifer Garner his future wife and mother of his children) in October of 2004

Jennifer Lopez has been engaged six times 

• Lopez was married to not her first, but her second husband when she got with Ben. Then counting Ben’s two engagements now, she was also engaged and married to Marc Anthony then engaged to Alex Rodriguez

Affleck destroyed his family and life with a major substance abuse problem and still tries to pretend like alcoholics are okay to drink in moderation which they are not 

• Affleck is an alcoholic who brought chaos and discord to his wife of 13 years and to his young children 
• In 2020, still a drunk, he said his divorce which was caused by his drinking was the biggest regret of his life
• He has been in and out of rehab since 2001 including a stint in 2018 where Jennifer Garner had to stage a full on intervention 
• In 2019 he relapsed immediately 
• In 2021 he was still not sober – in an interview he called the issue “sobriety slip-ups” which is not how sobriety works at all 
• In 2021 he also said that his alcoholism was his wife Jennifer Garner’s fault because he felt “trapped”
• In 2022, now with Jennifer Lopez, Ben Affleck is still drinking

Bennifer got back together very briefly before getting chaotically married in Vegas

• The couple got together in April 2021 and was engaged by April 2022 after a 20 year gap between their first extremely short lived and chaotic romance 
• Jennifer Lopez was actually still with Alex Rodriguez in the beginning of April 2021 just before (or more likely during) when she got together with Ben Affleck 
• Now the two got married just three months after getting engaged in Vegas

Good luck to them, I guess. Hope they try not to destroy anyone else’s life this year.