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Who’s Invited to Donald Trump’s Thanksgiving table?
It’s been quite a year in politics and the holidays are upon us. So who exactly will be sharing a Thanksgiving table with President Donald Trump and how are they going to handle it?
- Speaker Mike Johnson is getting to sit at the grown ups table
Speaker Johnson has proved he’s a responsible boy. He has done all President Trump has asked of him and he’s done it well. He got the One Big Beautiful Bill passed, he held the line on Government shutdown, and he tussled with membership disciplinary wars. He’s proved he can sit at the big kids table this year.
- Marjorie Taylor Greene is going to crash and cause a huge scene
Marjorie Taylor Greene’s fall out with President Trump is nothing short of true family theater. She’s the rebel aunt that keeps getting cut off but shows up at the holidays to make a dramatic scene. She will be showing up with her metaphorical new boyfriend who no one understands (Thomas Massie) ready for a fight with her parents (President Trump) and that one brother who thinks he is so much better than everyone else (take your pick of MAGA America).
- Secretary Scott Bessent is making the punch
Secretary Bessent is an Administration favorite and trusted member of the MAGA family. He used to have a pink southern mansion so you know he knows how to make a good bevvie. I feel like Secretary Bessent is the adult in the room but he likes to start the drama, then sit back and watch. So he’ll make a dangerous punch with way too much buzz which will be fun for everyone.
- Pam Bondi is in charge of the invite list
The list is on her desk but also it might not exist.
- Marco Rubio is making the entire dinner
Marco Rubio is like your mom on Thanksgiving. He’s the only one not getting a break. He’s in charge of the meal from start to finish including washup. He’s also playing in the football game somehow. He has every job there is to have.
- J.D. Vance is going to be leading the football game in the yard and everyone wants to be on his team
J.D. Vance is the chosen son. He’s the cool uncle everyone wants to hang out with. He’ll organize the football game and get everyone excited, even coaxing Marco away from the stove for a minute for a few downs. His slightly-less-cool younger brother, Ted Cruz, will work so hard to beat him in the yard football game but alas, he never wins.
HAPPY THANKSGIVING TO EVERYONE!!!
