Fake News Won’t Report That Jim Jordan is Hot – Free Press Fail
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Fake News Won’t Report That Jim Jordan is Hot

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Jim Jordan is a certified hottie. 

Let’s start with his face. There are certain characteristics of an attractive man that are relatively universal. A study published in the National Library of Medicine through the National Institutes of Health detailed several factors which science has determined make one’s face attractive – symmetry, averageness, and for men, strong jaws. Look at this jawline: 

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That symmetry though. (Source: the Lima news)

Next let’s talk about the hot bod (respectfully). In 2010, The Independent reported scientific findings on a few key areas which most consider when determining an attractive physical appearance. Again the answer to the human heart is symmetry. Gotta have those legs the same on both sides. Can’t get enough of the symmetry: 

Both sides of his body seem to match up and the women of this world feel it.

Finally – lets talk brains. Countless surveys have shown that women often favor an intelligent man and at least one scientific study proved that high IQ can be sexually attractive to individuals. Jim Jordan as ranking member of the House Committee on Intelligence has proven in the first public hearings on Impeachment that his is the smartest man in the room and maybe the smartest in the entire body of Congress. Over the course of several hours of meticulous questioning – Jordan was the only person able to reveal any new information about the Ukraine transcripts which was that the source (fake whistleblower), according to the former Ambassador under the Obama Administration, was totally unreliable.

Despite all the evidence, no main-stream media has reported Jim Jordan as the absolute snack that he is. Mrs. Polly Jordan, who is a total betty and looks just like Winnie Cooper from the Wonder Years, was smart to lock it down early. 

10s for 10s, Polly! Good for you.

Polly and Jim Jordan lookin cute at Christmas Source: Heavy.com

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