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The Conservative Critic

What did you miss at the Kentucky Derby?

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Saturday May 7th was the 148th running of the Kentucky Derby at the famous Churchill Downs in Louisville, Kentucky. This race was the first time in three years that the Derby could operate at full capacity in total normalcy since the tyrannical takeover of the American government by erudite elitists and mad scientists the pandemic and the race did not disappoint.

Here are the most exciting, weird and fun moments from the Derby you may have missed: 

  1. President Trump made a public appearance 

The President’s appearance at the Derby has been hotly discussed and anticipated for a couple of weeks since he announced a Derby day fundraiser for $75,000 a ticket. It’s such a joy to see the President out at big events like this where the media can’t pretend that he isn’t widely beloved.

  1. Rich Strike won the derby as the longest shot in over 100 years at 80 -1 

Rich Strike entered the race on Saturday as an alternate only qualifying to run on Saturday morning after finding out another horse had pulled out on Friday night. Wearing the #21 (out of only 20 horses on the field) Rich Strike stayed in the back of the pack the entire race until the last stretch where he came out of nowhere on the inside overcoming the pack leaders in a stunning victory. See whole race here.

  1. Feisty winner Rich Strike ran around biting other horses and bucking after the race

RICH STRIKE CANNOT BE TAMED!

  1. One of the trainers came to America after being kidnapped twice in his home country 

Antonio Sano is the trainer for top Derby contender, Simplicity. He fled his home country of Venezuela for south Florida where he currently resides after being kidnapped twice. Remember how our alternative option for fuel is Venezuela…

  1. One of the horse farms was featured for finding the photo on their property and discovering it belonged to a family hundred of miles away whose home was destroyed in a tornado 

Claiborne Farms who had multiple Derby contenders in the race found a photo of two children on their property and launched a media investigation to find out who they were. After being discovered on social media, it turns out the photo belonged to a family who had suffered through a massive tornado hundreds of miles away. The winds carried the photo all the way to the Claiborne Farm.

  1. Apparently there is a speakeasy at Churchill Downs for only the fanciest of fancy people 

The Speakeasy has a secret code to get in and is behind a plain door that looks like maybe a maintenance room. It serves mint juleps out of cups borrowed from the Kentucky Derby museum saved from the very first Kentucky Derby. I don’t know who is allowed in there, but definitely not me. 

  1. A local politician named Ron Tanney got some choice free airtime 

A random political sign for a “Ron Tanney” was held up at a perfect moment and prominently displayed with the starting line crowd for several seconds. On googling – Ron Tanney is a Republican running for State Representative in the 107th district of Pennsylvania. Good luck Ron!

  1. Musician and Kentucky local, Jack Harlow, was being interviewed by NBC and the rap/music artist Drake really wanted attention also

The interview was originally with Harlow who was slated to give the opinion announcement for the race. Drake creeped his way slowly on camera, announced he was drunk, talked for the entire interview then got mad when NBC had to cut away for different coverage. 

  1. NBC commentator Donna had to ride a horse the whole time 

Donna Barton Brothers is a former jockey who has won over 1,100 races. She now contributes for NBC sports on equestrian events including the Derby. Donna is known for riding around horseback and interviewing everyone else on horseback. It’s wonderful. 

  1. Happy Jack ironically least happy horse in race

Happy Jack was a major fan favorite for his fun name and lively personality. But he did NOT want to go in the shoot. He had to retry a couple of times. He wasn’t feeling it at all. But he still managed a top half finish. 

Bonus: We should just marvel at how truly ginger Rich Strike really is

Blonde eyelashes, pale freckles, bright red hair. That’s a ginger horse.

Look at this red headed beauty. The Queen Elizabeth of horses. 

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