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BREAKING: Does Biden Really Have COVID Or Is It An Elaborate Cover Up?

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The White House announced today that Joe Biden has contracted COVID-19. Do we think he really has it or do we think one of the following possibilities is more likely to be true? 

  1. Joe Biden confused the world with his announcement of cancer and the White House needs him to go away for a few days to let that smooth over

  1. The Joe Biden replicant needs a software update and they need a few days for the upload
  1. The Party wants to boot Biden off the 2024 ticket and making implications about the delicacy of his health is the best possible strategy

  1. The Administration is gearing up for a full COVID shutdown press to ensure mail-in ballots ahead of the midterms and this helps the narrative 

  1. Joe Biden is just old and frail and needs a few days off 
  1. Joe Biden escaped his captors and they’re looking for him 

Which one do you think it is?