An unsuspecting Twitter user, @astolbyneeks posted one of the most contentious tweets of the week which expressed surprise that other McDonald’s patrons were not putting ketchup on their morning McGriddle.
Y’all really be eating dry ass breakfast sandwiches. Why would u get me a McGriddle with no ketchup??!— My pronouns are SKE/TEL (@astoldbyneekz) April 21, 2023
Putting aside the heated collective disagreement that ketchup would belong on a McGriddle (which is a breakfast sandwich with egg and bacon or sausage that has two pancakes infused with syrup for the bread), it raises the important question: Who is king of fast food breakfast?
Here’s my definitive ranking:
Subway is not known for quality* and it’s not here to give you a quality breakfast. But it’s microwaved bacon and egg sandwich options come through in a pinch especially if you’re late for work and there is a Subway next to you work. Plus, they tend to put out the vegetables in the morning then never really change them over so it’s the best hours to not get sick from the food.
*Subways are franchised so I know some somewhere are probably really well run and delicious.
Starbucks can play fancy all day long but there is a drive through and they serve pre-cooked food by heating it up in a microwave. It’s fast food y’all. Their breakfast menu isn’t half bad and it’s especially nice when you really want your special coffee but are also pretty hungry and once again late for work. The sausage egg and cheese breakfast sandwich is pretty clutch and they also offer sort of arguably healthy options like turkey bacon and vegetarian.
#8 Taco Bell
The Taco Bell breakfast menu is good but I always want it to actually be better. As one of the dominant cult fast food operators in the market, I sort of expect their breakfast crunchwrap to blow my mind as much as their dinner crunchwrap and it just simply does not. That being said, they do a decent job and a potato filled breakfast burrito for $3 never made anyone sad.
#7 Del Taco
West coasters know that Del Taco is best-in-class for junk drive through tacos. Their breakfast lives up pretty well to their all day menu. Del Taco offers carne asada in their breakfast suite which is pretty clutch especially if you partner it with their mini donuts as a side.
#6 Burger King
Burger King knows who he is. His offerings aren’t that interesting but some of them are pretty long lived classics like the french toast sticks which have been an affordable family favorite since the 80s. Burger King actually has the most economical breakfast menu on the market with the most delicious greasy morning mistake for your buck.
It’s no wonder why Texans and denizens of the southern United States seem so much happier and sunnier than everyone else. Whataburger’s breakfast champion is definitely the Honey Butter Chicken Biscuit but they also have breakfast taquitos proving they really know what the southern heart wants. Plus, they offer breakfast starting at 2 am. So if you’re a hard working American who gets up before dawn to work the land or respond to electrical outages, you can get a hot meal. Also if you’re a degenerate American who is still out drinking.
Chick-fil-a is the healthiest and most Christian breakfast option with a drive through. Even Chick-fil-a’s fried chicken offerings are significantly healthier (considering carb, calorie and fat content) than most chicken offerings of its kind. What’s nice is that it’s also delicious, especially the chicken minis. Plus you can get one of their mind blowing diet iced tea lemonades (the Splenda lemonade is better than the regular and that is just a fact).
Sonic has a lot going for it because it serves breakfast all day which really is a kindness to a weekend craving. The bacon or sausage breakfast toaster is the best Sonic has to offer and is actually pretty satisfying at any time of the day. If you want to “ketchup you McGriddle” and be a freak about it you should order the onion rings with breakfast BECAUSE THEY’RE THE BEST!
#2 Jack in the Box
Jack in the Box is really the OG of all day breakfast and late night offerings. There is something so freeing about the fact that at 3 am in any given west coast city, you can roll up to a Jack in the Box and order a Breakfast Jack (absolutely delicious breakfast sandwich served on sourdough bread) as well as a dozen mini tacos. Jack in the Box breakfast is not only delicious, it is also freedom.
McDonalds just knows how to do it right. What it comes down to is that McDonald’s breakfast sausage patty is significantly better than any other breakfast patty on planet earth period. There is just something really special about it that is bordering on dangerously addictive when paired with cheese. The McDonalds classic Sausage Egg and Cheese sandwich is an untouchable superior fast food breakfast food and their additional offerings like the McGriddles and the Spicy Chicken McGriddles are only icing on the perfect fast food cake.