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BREAKING: Here Are Just A Few Things That Jamaal Boman Thinks Are Racist (Probably)

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This week, Rep. Jamaal Bowman (D-NY) pulled a fire alarm in the United States Capitol in the middle of a vote to provide funding to keep the United States Government functional. Rep. Bowman maintains it was an accident claiming he believed that pulling the alarm would cause a door he claims is usually open for votes to open up so he could make it to the floor in time to cast his vote. 

House Republicans have called for Rep. Bowman to be penalized in the same severity as the civilians of Jan 6 were penalized for similar infractions against democracy. Pulling the fire alarm in the Capitol is a minor crime/misdemeanor on its own punishable by a $1,000 fine but his actions could be interpreted as “interfering with a Congressional proceeding” which is what most of the people of January 6 were charged with. According to the Department of Justice, such a heinous crime is punishable with up to 30 years in prison. 

But Bowman thinks House Republicans are evil for pointing out that he should be held to the same standard of the law as American citizens. A leaked memo obtained by media shows that Bowman passed talking points around to his fellow democrats asking them to use scripted rebuttals against Republican calls for punishment which include calling “MAGA Republicans” “Nazis.” Bowman has since issued an apology clarifying that he never bothered to read these talking points which were given to his entire conference. 

In honor of his bizarre inference that House Republicans are “Nazis” because he doesn’t want to be accountable, the same as any American Citizen would be, for his actions; here is a list of things Rep. Bowman definitely (probably) thinks are monstrously racist. 

  1. Fire alarms 

This one we already knew. There are not “very fine” fire alarms on both sides.

  1. Smoke detectors

The history of this is pretty clear. Look it up. 

  1. Baby monitors

Oh now we have to watch babies? Which babies are getting watched?

  1. Seatbelts

Restrained for our safety right? It’s the law right? 

  1. Hotel door blockers

Guarding against who exactly? 

  1. One way street signs

I think we know which way they mean.

And finally 

  1. Clocks

This one is actually real READ A BOOK.