As the nation begins to re-open, President Trump has left it to state leaders to decide how best to restart the economies in their jurisdictions. Despite the Presidents encouragement and Senate Majority leader, Mitch McConnel’s potential funding block – some liberal Governors have decided to ignore science and prudent recommendations and starve their economies into total desolation.
Here are 10 amazing American cities whose liberal overlords never want you to see.
1. Las Vegas, Nevada
If you’ve ever been to Las Vegas you may have only seen the brilliantly colorful and luxurious Strip. But Las Vegas is one of the most breathtaking and dramatic landscapes in the entire United States. The city is flanked by rugged red rock mountains and covered in the dust and rock suitable for only the strongest willed residents. With the casinos only a few hours from the Grand Canyon through water filled canyons and joshua trees as far as the eye can see, Las Vegas is uniquely situated for the perfect tourist trip combining adventure with luxury and relaxation.
In what is regarded as perhaps the worst COVID-19 response in the entire nation – unhinged Governor Steve Sisolak says TOO BAD FOR YOU! No one needs real Las Vegas when you can just watch the Hangover on Netflix.
Oh well guys. I guess what happens in Vegas really will stay in Vegas…or the shell of the remaining city.
2. Honolulu, Hawaii
Nestled on America’s favorite Archipelago – Honolulu is a natural beauty with both cultural and touristy experiences galore. Honolulu is home to dozens of major resorts who offer beach relaxation, water slides, aquariums, spas, five star restaurants and more. There are also wonderful local boutique properties which favor traditions like luau and botanical gardens.
Unfortunately Hawaii Governor David Ige says HOLA TO THE ISLAND LIFE! Hola in this case is the goodbye version. Having less than 1,000 cases on the islands did not stop the Governor from shutting down all commerce and extending the shutdown through May. In perhaps a more bizarre move – he has decided to reopen shopping malls but not beaches. Guess he thinks COVID-19 is afraid of Hot Topic like I am.
DON’T EVEN THINK ABOUT TOURING THE PINEAPPLE FARMS! BANNED!
3. Washington, D.C.
The nation’s capital was once a must see destination. Home to the rich history of the greatest nation on earth, visitors could view the Declaration of Independence, walk the halls of Congress, stand on the steps of the Supreme Court and rest in the shadows of the monuments erected to our nation’s most important moments. On top of that, economic prosperity ushered in a time of lowered violence and improved neighborhood conditions. Visitors could take themselves off the beaten path to charming up and coming neighborhoods filled with unique local culture and restaurants like Shaw, Navy Yard, and the Wharf. Or they could visit the lifestyles of the nation’s most powerful in the old neighborhoods of Georgetown and Kalorama.
D.C. Mayor Muriel Bowser says THIS IS MY CAPITAL NOW!*
*Not literally. What she did literally say is that in order to go out everyone must stay in. Which is confusing and impossible. On top of her disorienting commands – D.C. is home to some of the most narcissistic incompetents in all of the country – Members of Congress. Even when the city does reopen – a shell of its former glory, local businesses destroyed and new neighborhoods returned to violence – there is no way Nancy Pelosi is letting anyone near her anti-chamber.
4. Chicago, Illinois
Do you like deep dish pizza, heavy on the cheese? Do you enjoy top notch theater or historic baseball teams? Would you say you are a fan of local breweries and 1920s architecture? If you said yes then you’re a normal person with good taste who would have absolutely loved Chicago pre-tyranny.
Fittingly, Chicago is the location for the dystopian movie and book franchise the Divergent series. In the series the city is empty and abandoned. Its totally void of all the joy and life it had as we knew it. Mayor Lori Lightfoot must really have enjoyed that series. Chicago mega-overlord, Illinois Governor J.B Pritzker, thinks the leadership in those movies could probably have gone a lot farther to control people and ruin lives. No commerce until end of May MAYBE if Illinoians are good.
In the meantime – don’t plan on visiting Chicago unless you plan on sending all the locals to jail.
5. Grant County, New Mexico
A hidden gem in the American Southwest, Grant County New Mexico is home to the Gila national wilderness and some of the most ancient human cave dwellings in the United States. On top of the beautiful ancient natural and human history in the area, Grant County is home to the charming artists haven of Silver City. Formerly made of miners and homesteaders, Silver City now enjoys a diverse group of residents and visitors from celebrated artists to a major cycling convention every summer.
Like most small towns, Silver City’s businesses are always hanging by small margin. Most of the delicious restaurants serving gourmet cuisine americana or authentic Mexican tamales or the picturesque pottery and jewelry galleries won’t survive to the next Air Balloon festival.
Despite Grant County having only 15 cases of COVID-19 and 0 deaths, Governor Michelle Lujan Grishm (a former Congressional democrat whiner) has refused to allow any businesses to open in her state and has doubled down her illegal shelter-in-place order.
Lujan Grishm must think the ancients died from COVID-19 too. CLOSED FOREVER
There you have it. The top 5 cities (technically it was 4 and one county) that you will not get to enjoy in all their true glory thanks to their moronic dictators.
Authors note – To be clear: New York City, New York was intentionally omitted because I haven’t considered it a great city since Giuliani. But of course it will be even worse and less like its glorious former self now.