When Joe Biden isn’t hiding in his basement, he’s trying desperately to work into the conversation that he is from Scranton, Pennsylvania. He says this about 48 times a day. (Real number, obviously.) Most likely he does this because he is trying to seem like a “man of the people” and Scranton is in a swing county of a swing state. In reality – though he was born in Scranton – the man has lived in DC for the past 47 odd years and is perhaps the standing definition of “DC elite.”
If I were Biden, I too would be trying to work Scranton into all of my talking points. Scranton, the Electric City, is a wonderful place in the heart of Americana. If you’ve never visited Pennsylvania, you should really consider it. It has a ton of history and it looks like a vintage greeting card during the fall and holidays. Scranton is no exception. Here is their tourism website if you ever are thinking about a trip there.
But the most famous people from Scranton, Pennsylvania are actually fiction characters from the hit NBC comedy, The Office (now streaming on Netflix). As an avid viewer, I have to wonder how they would react to a Scrantonian running for president and who they would vote for in this upcoming election.
Here it goes:
Jim Halpert: Joe Biden
Jim Halpert was the kind of guy who hated halloween because it made him seem uncool. He also thought hard work and enthusiasm for hobbies made you seem uncool. He was the kind of guy to fall in love with a girl, feel entitled to her reciprocal affection, break up her marriage, then leave town and date a different girl.
Mr. Cool Guy Jim is definitely a liberal voter. Joe Biden.
Pam Beesly Halpert: Joe Biden
Pam Beesly Halpert was actually an extremely kind character who made for a good leading lady. But she always thought she was much smarter than her boss even though he was a record setting salesman who kept their office afloat through multiple financial crises. Pam is the kind of person who sees herself as educated and woke but gets most of her political opinions from celebrities she thinks are intellectuals like Bill Nye the Science Guy and Oprah.
Pam Bessly Halpert would have been obsessed with Hillary Clinton and she’d for sure vote for Joe Biden.
Dwight Schrute: Donald Trump
A top salesman with an offbeat personality, Dwight respects decisive authority figures and considers himself to be one. He also owns a local business and has inherited a family farm which has changed many hands throughout the generations – so he’d be very familiar with the issue of capital gains and estate tax.
Dwight has a soft spot for religious women and babies. But he did once get in trouble for shooting an antique gun in the office.
There is no question that Dwight is a Trump supporter and has a million MAGA signs in his beet farm.
Darryl Philbin: Joe Biden
Darryl Philbin wanted promotions and paychecks but was often not working and one time tried to defraud the office for a workmans comp claim. He also has the same cool guy complex that Jim Halpert has.
That being said he had a background in blue-collar work and knew what it was like to truly labor for wages. So it’s a closer call than some of the others but still, Darryl would vote for Joe Biden.
Kelly Kapoor: Donald Trump
Kelly Kapoor was a style icon and pop culture enthusiast who received very little respect from her peers despite being on the management track. To be fair to them, she did engage in a long time office romance which resulted in a lot of crazy antics from both her and her romantic partner.
Kelly is the kind of voter that goes for the spark and splash. She’d have voted for President Obama no question. But in this election, she’d definitely be for for President Trump if for no other reason but that Kim Kardashian and Kanye West will also be doing the same.
Ryan Howard: Didn’t Vote
Ryan Howard is the other half of Kelly Kapoor’s office romance. He’s known for treating women badly and thinking very highly of himself. Ryan is the kind of guy that always wants to be an alternative thinker but is actually stealing all his ideas off Reddit.
He’d say something like “the entire system is corrupt and you’re all just sheep” when he repeatedly tells everyone he’s not voting. In reality – Ryan actually committed a felony during the course of his time on the Office (defrauding shareholders) so he would be ineligible to vote. But I think with his counter-cultural ideals and his desire to be successful in business he’d probably have leaned toward President Trump. We can’t all be good apples.
Stanley Hudson: Donald Trump
Stanley is known as the office grump but he’s really just a no-nonsense guy who has been around the block enough times to keep his cool. He spends most of his time on crossword puzzles to avoid listening to pointless speeches and interacting with people he doesn’t like. At the end of the series – he ends up living in the everglades of Florida spending his days whittling.
He loves pretzels, Florida, and women. He’s definitely a Trump man.
Phyllis Vance: Joe Biden
Phyllis liked to present the energy of a sweet, small town woman but actually she was quite ruthless as a salesman and also in her personal relationships. She threatened and harassed her fellow female coworkers on multiple occasions over petty issues such as outfit choice, party planning and wedding invites.
Phyllis was not a woman to be messed with. But none of that matters because I’m certain she would vote for Joe Biden because he went to high school with her older sister or something and she always thought he was hot.
Angela Martin: Donald Trump
Angela Martin is a deeply religious woman who loves her cats more than she loves her friends. She is the kind of person that ferociously states all of the opinions that she believes will make her seem the toughest and most pious but she harbors salacious secrets that reveal more about her than her harsh truths.
She would respect President Trump’s direct and authoritative demeanor as well as his outward respect of religion and life and traditional family values. She would definitely vote for Trump but tell everyone she voted for Biden because she knows everyone sees Biden as more gentile.
Oscar Martinez: Joe Biden
Oscar is an accountant who fancies himself the smartest man in the room and can’t stand to be bested intellectually by anyone in the office (or probably at home). The show actually spends multiple episodes developing this character trait.
Because he knows that to be a member of the intellectual elite you must subscribe to progressive values, he would of course vote for Joe Biden. To his credit, I think he would choose Biden exclusively for the intellectual clout of being a democrat and he would not try to fold in his being Mexican or gay in order to claim Donald Trump was racist or bigoted. It would be beneath Oscar to manufacture victimhood.
Andy Bernard: Toss Up
Andy Bernard is impossible to read on this question. He grew up rich and went to an elite private college which he talks about all the time. He owns a sail boat and one time took three months off work without telling his boss to “find himself” on said boat. All of that information of course would lead us to believe he’d vote for Joe Biden (basically twins).
But on the other hand, Andy is a bit of an underdog. His dad likes his brother better than him and clearly cut him off from the family money and now Andy was just a regular salesman (and later manager) of a paper sales firm. I think Trump’s story of being wealthy but still an underdog would really appeal to Andy and I think he’d see the merits in voting for someone who stands up to bullies.
I really don’t know which way he’d go. Andy is the quintessential swing voter.
Erin Hannon: Joe Biden
Erin is a sweet and simple woman who works hard and is easy to please. She is a product of the foster system and didn’t have an easy time growing up. She has terrible taste in men and is always dating someone too needy, too weird, or too selfish.
Its not likely Erin follows politics very closely but I do think she would recognize her duty as a citizen to vote. She would probably vote for Joe Biden because Michelle Obama told her to and Michelle Obama would seem like a really nice woman to Erin.
Meredith Palmer: Donald trump
Meredith is a single working mother who doesn’t have time for nonsense like carbon offsets and race riots. Meredith loves St. Patrick’s day and all the drinking holidays and is often found enjoying a beverage midday at work. While the last part might not be a best practice, Meredith is not here for anyone’s judgement. She just wants to live and let live. She would definitely feel more comfortable with Donald Trump as president than with Joe Biden.
Creed Bratton: Can’t vote
There is no way Creed is eligible to vote. Let’s just leave it at that.
Kevin Malone: Jo Jorgenson
Kevin Malone is obsessed with women and constantly is making inappropriate comments about his female coworkers.
He would vote for Jo Jorgenson so that the president had boobs.
Michael Scott: Donald Trump
Michael Scott is the annoying and self involved manager of the office. He cares about his employees and very desperately wants to be their friend. He is a top salesman who uses grassroots relationship building to obtain and manage clients and allies. He is seen by his peers as foolish and dorky but at the end of the day, he out performs them in all metrics of business.
Michael is a supporter of family values and is easily influenced by pop culture. Donald Trump’s meteoric rise to fame and constant presence in the media along with his off-the-cuff sense of humor and many books on management would appeal to Michael on every level. Michael Scott would definitely vote for Donald Trump and he would also probably quote him a lot.