Pennsylvania Governor Bans Pre-Thanksgiving Drinks And The Reason Why Will Make You Laugh – Free Press Fail
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Pennsylvania Governor Bans Pre-Thanksgiving Drinks And The Reason Why Will Make You Laugh

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I have no idea what actually happens in Pennsylvania before Thanksgiving, but the way Governor Wolf talks about it makes it sound pretty lit.

In his statement earlier this week, the tyrant governor of the Keystone state said “the biggest day for drinking is the Wednesday before Thanksgiving.” 

Which sounds like fun.

But then he got kind of weird about it, hinting at what Pennsylvanians are you to AFTER their Wednesday night drinks.

“I don’t like addressing that anymore than anyone else does…” Wolf teased. “But it’s a fact, when people get together in that situation it leads to an increase in the exchange of the fluids that leads to increased infection.”

Um, what?

To confront this apparently adventurous activity, Wolf signed an executive order that bans the sale of alcohol starting at 5 p.m. Wednesday night (Thanksgiving Eve) and ending at 8 a.m. Thursday morning (Thanksgiving Day).

Lame!

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