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The Conservative Critic

Do YOU Remember Mitt Romney’s Olympic Pony? Here’s Why You Should



You may remember that failed Presidential candidate, political Dandy, and purveyor of women filled binders, Willard Mitt Romney, was a major feature of the 2012 Olympic games as his family horse, Rafalca, participated in the Dressage competition. 

The Equine equivalent of ballerina, Rafalca was the apple of Mitt and Ann Romney’s eye, though, when Mitt received some media critique over his ownership of a six figure horse he claimed that pony dancing was actually Ann’s hobby and he preferred “western style riding.” Sure, Mitt. 

Dressage is still alive and well at the Olympics and if you have not watched it it consists of very pretty horses doing elaborate trot routines to extremely dramatic music. It’s delightful. If horse racing wasn’t bougie enough, horse dancing takes it to another level.

But how do the 2021 fancy dance horsies compare to Mitt Romney’s fancy dance horsie? 

Not as good, let me tell you. They may score higher, winning second place compared to Rafalca’s sixth, but they don’t have the true breeding that Rafalca brought to these hallowed paddocks. 

Look at Rafalca. So noble. So proud of her Romney heritage. Drinks perrier only (probably). Is fed from a silver spoon directly by Mitt Romney (probably). Noble blood.

And sure this horse below named Salvino managed to help take the Silver Medal home for team USA for the first time since 1948 but he doesn’t have half the class of Rafalca.

Mitt Romney would never buy a horse with so much “American spirit.” Ugh so proletariat of Salvino. 

Never forget Rafalca Romney. 

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