The Conservative Critic
The Bachelor is back: Here are some ways to still see your wives and girlfriends on Mondays
The Bachelor premiered on Monday night for its 1,237th season (probably) and this time, unlike all the other times, it features a very handsome but totally forgettable man (named Zach) as he seeks the heart of 30 odd indistinguishable twenty-something women who are looking to better monetize their instagram….or idk to get married (unlikely outcome statistically speaking).
Despite the cynicism, the show is still pretty fun (albeit fairly predatory to the young women). Because the show starves the women on purpose and pumps them full of champagne they often act a bit silly (as would we all) and the Bachelor, no matter how nice he starts, is always a terror by the end. He either fixates on the least sincere woman (“the villain” as they’re known) or he breaks everyone’s hearts by being a dawg. It’s terrible and yet….it’s delightful?
Men: your wives, daughters, girlfriends and cool aunts have probably put up with your football season so I encourage you to give Monday night Bachelor night a chance. Jesse Palmer is technically in the show so it’s like it actually is sports.
Here are some tips and tricks to make Bachelor Mondays a fun time for everyone:
- Join a fantasy league
That’s right there are Bachelor nation fantasy leagues which predict which girls will make it all the way. There are actually several different operators including Bracketology, The Rose League and The Verge or you can create your own using the same concept as sports leagues: each week some women advance and some don’t. You bet on who makes it each round.
You can make this extra fun by raising the stakes with your significant other. You can place a wager on your tournament, maybe even based on TV time. Whoever wins gets to pick Monday night TV for the next three months? Gets to pick both Monday and Tuesday? High stakes.
- Try out new drinks
The drink of choice for most of Bachelor Nation is wine – so it would be fun to try new wine each week and turn your Bachelor watch night into a wine tasting night too. You could do it with cocktails as well. Maybe trying a new type of cocktail each week or inventing your own based on the personalities of the contestants. Maybe you start with the “Zach” (the Bachelor) and its vanilla vodka and club soda (because he’s a little boring but sweet). This can give a little more interaction with the show to make it more fun and something to look forward to. Here are some cocktail ideas to get you started.
- Commit to trying local restaurants
If you’re a couple that orders in regularly, make your order-in night Mondays and try local places. You could order from a new local restaurant every week and really try to change it up. If you pair it with the fantasy league suggestion, you could have the winner of each week choose the place. Or you could just alternate. Services like Uber Eats and DoorDash are available in most markets.
- Drinking games
A Bachelor drinking game is not hard to conceive on your own (Take a drink any time a girl cries. Take two drinks every time someone asks “can I steal you for a second?” Take three drinks if the Bachelor himself cries. Take a shot if someone gets kicked off the show outside of the normal rose ceremony process). But there are plenty available online also.
- Invite over her friends and treat them nicely
Look – IDK her friends, but it would be a really nice gesture that would be worth a lot in her esteem if you invited them over and acted as Monday butler refilling their wine and getting them snacks. I’m not saying you’ll love it for sure -but it might be sort of fun to be everyone’s favorite spouse/partner for the rest of forever.
Make Mondays Bachelor Again!