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The Conservative Critic

Who Is Handing Out The Oscars And Will You Hate It? 

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The Academy Awards presenters have been announced! Famously, the Academy Awards run long and can be boring. So scoping out who will be contributing to the entertainment can help viewers decide if watching will be worthwhile. 

Here are the best and worst of those asked to help hand out the golden trophies: 

Best: Goldie Hawn, Willem Dafoe, Nick Offerman 

Who didn’t love Overboard? Goldie Hawn is a true icon and legend and it will be nothing short of a delight to see her on the Oscar stage. 

Similarly, Willem Dafoe is a legend who has turned in nothing but extraordinary performances his entire career, lending credibility to everything he’s ever touched. 

Nick Offerman will be the show’s ‘announcer’ this year which is different from the host (that’ll be Conan O’Brien). Offerman will lend the voice to move the program along and likely provide a lot of comedic relief along with O’Brien. 

Worst: Whoopie Goldberg, Oprah Winfrey, and Ana De Armas

To be fair, Whoopie Goldberg is an EGOT (Emmy, Grammy, Oscar, Tony) having earned every major award in her industry so it’s not that she’s unqualified to present. But hasn’t everyone had enough of her from that terrible TV show The View? 

Oprah Winfrey has become everything that is elite and insufferable about Hollywood (despite her self-made beginnings). She embodies it. It is inextricable from her entire aura. It is tone deaf beyond imagination to cast Oprah for this year’s Oscars. They really don’t get how people feel about Hollywood do they? 

Ana De Armas is dating the step-son of the current Cuban dictator, Miguel Diaz-Canal. Her (alleged) boyfriend who she has been photographed with multiple times, Manuel Anido Cuesta, has a role in the regime and frequently travels with his step-father on diplomatic missions to increase sympathy for the dictatorship. De Armas is Cuban born and unlike most Cuban immigrants did not have to escape the regime. She was permitted leave. Its probably wise to wonder why that would be the case considering she maintains her Cuban citizenship. To have her presenting is a hilariously hypocritical insult to human rights of which I thought Hollywood was oh so worried. 

The 2025 Academy Awards will be held March 2nd and broadcast on ABC and streamed on Hulu. 

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