Democrats Just Launched a $20 Million Plan to “Study” Men, Because Talking to Them Was Too Hard

Okay, this is hilarious. Democrats have finally figured out that maybe—just maybe—they need to work on messaging if they ever want to win another election. Bravo for catching up, gang. Only took you a decade of getting bodied by Trump memes and UFC clips.

But of course, instead of, I don’t know, talking to men like normal human beings, they’re approaching the problem like total nerds. Enter: SAM — “Speaking with American Men: A Strategic Plan.” Yes, really. They gave their desperation a codename.

SAM is a $20 million initiative to study men. Not talk to them, not listen to them—study them. Like a bunch of confused grad students peering through a microscope at an “Andrew Tate podcast enjoyer.” According to The New York Times, SAM is diving into the “language, syntax, and content” that resonates with young men. Once they’ve gathered enough data on the elusive male species, they plan to buy ads in video games and stop sounding like moralizing scolds. Groundbreaking stuff.

This is, of course, all a response to the electoral slap in the face they got in 2024, when 56% of young men voted for Donald Trump, while Kamala Harris could only lock down 40%. Democrats immediately scrambled to blame everyone but themselves, landing on—you guessed it—the “manosphere.” That’s their new catch-all term for anything men like that makes them feel insecure.

The irony is chef’s kiss. The party of “believe all women” and “toxic masculinity is killing the planet” is now quietly spending millions trying to win back the very men they’ve spent years mocking, cancelling, and blaming for every societal woe. You reap what you sow, boys and girls.

The fact that their grand strategy is to “study men” rather than, you know, understand them tells you everything you need to know. They’d rather write a research paper than have a beer and ask what’s on your mind. (Probably cause they hate you.)

Anyway, best of luck to those dorks. Let me know how those video game ads go. Maybe throw in a free therapy session while you’re at it.