Media Wants You to Believe Trump Wrote This Fortune Cookie to Epstein

So apparently, the Wall Street Journal and a handful of others are running with this alleged “birthday card” Trump supposedly sent Jeffrey Epstein. And it’s ridiculous.
We have all been reading and listening to Trump for decades. His voice is one of the most identifiable in politics—short, punchy, repetitive, funny, always bold. Nothing about this letter matches.

The phrasing is bizarre. It doesn’t even sound like English half the time. “Enigmas never age”? Please. That’s not Trump. If it were real card to a friend, it would read more like: “You are a great, great friend—one of the greatest!” Simple. Direct. Not some pseudo-intellectual fortune-cookie nonsense.

The whole thing reads more like it was run through Google Translate than written by a native English speaker. If it is real (a big “if”), it feels more like a code or an inside joke than a genuine card to a friend. And if it isn’t? Then it’s just a bad forgery being recycled for headlines.

And let’s talk timing. Why is this surfacing now? The estate lawyers have had this for years. Suddenly, the press wants to act like it’s a smoking gun? Sounds familiar. It’s the same playbook we’ve seen over and over again: invent something ridiculous, slap Trump’s name on it, and try to undermine him. Think Russian collusion all over again.

Bottom line: No one is buying it. The letter is too weird, too fake, too far outside of Trump’s unmistakable style. The media might run like it’s real, but the rest of us can see straight through it.