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10 Things Less Boring Than The Impeachment Sham



NYT Michael Caldrone sketch of Senator Risch sleeping during impeachment – same, Senator Risch. Same.

Supporters of elections, justice and President Donald J. Trump all find impeachment to be incredibly boring. The liberal media is very annoyed by this and about twelve of them have written the same hot take that republicans are only fake bored. See an example here at the hard hitting news outlet, Buzzfeed. Another totally unique take on Jimmy Kimmel. Another at Vanity Fair. Here is one more still from The Hill. Don’t worry there is even another one at Slate. You get the picture – the liberal media thinks that we are pretending they aren’t boring and then to prove their point all run the exact same article. 

Just like these identical regurgitations of a (probably) DNC written talking point – democrats in the House and Senate and the media have been harping on the exact same impeachment platitudes for the better part of three years, but definitely the last six months. For all their pithy catch phrases – the impeachment articles dont even accuse President Trump of a legitimate crime (what exactly is Obstruction of Congress?). And frankly – a bunch of really exhaustingly slow old showboats dithering on the Senate floor is just not that much to look at. 

So let this just be a promise to the liberal media who is so skeptical: We really are incredibly bored and we really cannot be bothered to watch. Scouts honor. Here is a list of things more interesting than the Democrat’s impeachment show: 

1: Catch up on Laundry 

It’s never too late to begin a respectable sheet rotation. Once weekly people! Once weekly.

2: Watch Marriage Story again 

You’ve already seen it three times and you and I both know it was actually a little boring to begin with. But isn’t that Adam Driver so talented? 

3: Ask your friend about the diet they’re on

Is it possible you haven’t heard all there is to hear about ketosis? It might be possible. You should double check.

4: Go mail that Amazon return in person at the post office

You meet the most interesting people in long lines.

5: Tune in to NPR

Don’t forget to tell all your friends how much you love it in order to make them feel inferior. 

6: Read your relatives political Facebook post

It’s five paragraphs long and based on something John Oliver said – but hey they’re family. 

7: Wait in the school pick up line (even if you don’t have kids)

I’m sure Brayden’s mom has some really great tips on acceptable screen time for you.

8: Give the telemarketing guy a chance

(Berkley Communications)

Make someone’s day. Plus maybe you do need that magazine subscription. 

9: Write a list of boring things to do instead of watch impeachment

(John Schnobrich)

Its tedious work but I do it for you.

And finally:

10: Watch any one of the network Democratic Debates 

You’re not going to vote for any of these people. Nobody you know is going to vote for any of these people. But maybe Joe Biden might say something accidentally funny?