All your favorite leftist friends and family members who have probably called you a murderer, a white supremacist, a conspiracy theorist, and much worse in the last year have been cowering in their homes paying the poors to risk illness to bring them food and drink for almost two years now. They have finally emerged from their cave and seem to be taking vacation in droves.
Despite their insistence that they will no longer even associate with individuals choosing to skip the COVID-19 vaccine, they don’t seem to care very much if the strangers whose nations they are entering are or are not vaccinated.
Let’s take a look at my favorite kind of lefty vacationer who is taking a break from lecturing you about your personal medical choices and political morality to harass the rest of the known world. I know we all know at least one of these people.
- The European Excursionist
These COVID couples have been posting “stay at home to lower the curve” memes for the last 20 months and refusing to attend any events with unvaccinated populations. These white-collar workers have easy remote work capabilities so no sweat off their brow if people can’t go in.
But wow airline prices to Italy are so low right now thanks to the economic crash! They got a great deal on a private villa because its owner hasn’t had any income for over a year. Time to take advantage!
Nevermind that 42% of the population still hasn’t received their first vaccine dose and the streets are lined with vaccine choice protestors. Contact doesn’t count if you aren’t making an emotionally manipulative point to your loved ones!
- The Safariest
These are the people who have been wearing their masks on outdoor runs and consider asking someone to put a mask on at the gym their civic duty.
They are so excited to take their mask off and get in touch with nature. After all – most African nations didn’t even report any COVID-19 which means they probably never had it right?
These couples were absolutely floored to find out how many Africans aren’t vaccinated. Don’t they know how irresponsible they’re being?
- The Domestic City Hopper
These folks cannot BELIEVE that schools are reopening without mask mandates. What about the children? But as long as their mask is on (no matter how long or how damp it gets) they think it’s time to see the best river walks, breweries, and skyscapers in the United States.
Sure these areas are the nation’s most populated and under-vaccinated. But they have liberal mayors and loose public intoxication laws. Mask up and drink up!
- The Shameless Floridian
Despite cries that Governor Ron DeSantis is the devil himself seeking to destroy all of mankind, liberals with a travel bug seem to have no problem popping down to Palm Beach or the Keys to get away from the crushing devastation of the husk of their former home states.
It’s such a tragedy what all the bad Republicans have done to the state but wow it’s so nice there and so much is open and everyone is so friendly. Maybe these guys should even relocate there permanently and make everything different.
- The New Parents
Though liberals pretended to be petrified of the ending world and the “global pandemic” as they kept calling it did not stop them from thinking it was the appropriate time to procreate. So scary was this deadly virus that they thought, hmmm, yes I should bring an infant into the world.
And boy did we hear about how scared they all were as new parents for their poor precious bundle of joy facing the evil republicans not making everyone in the world stay home and wear masks. All begging the question: why did they even have a baby during this clearly traumatic time in their lives?
None of this fear will stop them from bringing their precious Oliver, January, or Poppy onto a crowded plane where he or she or gender undecided will cry and cry and cry blowing snot bubbles everywhere, licking every surface, with no regard for basic human cleanliness let alone COVID-19 procedures. Precious Oliver/January/Poppy must see the Eiffel Tower before he/she/they is two years old. He/She/They have been through so much already.