In honor of Joe Biden calling the National Hockey League commissioner “Batman” on accident today (instead of Bettman, someone get the man some readers) and the fact that I just saw the newest Batman movie, The Batman, here is a definitive ranking of all the different Batman movies (that I can remember) by their most important factor: Are they liberal propaganda?
Starting from the most conservative and working down to the most liberal, here is the list:
10. The Dark Knight (2008)
Based on the idea that all people are basically good if given free will and that all politicians can be corrupted – the hands-down best Batman film ever made and the most conservative is The Dark Knight.
9. Justice League (2017)
Wonder Woman is dripping with American values and played by an Israeli so major points right off the bat (ha). But additionally, the film has a Jesus metaphor (like the Narnia series) and is all about faith in humankind and the value and sanctity of human life.
8. Batman Begins (2005)
“It’s not who you are underneath, it’s what you do that defines you.” – that’s a conservative proverb if I’ve ever heard one. Plus there is a theme about the right to trial and justice through mercy which is definitely an our side thing. None of that “guilty upon accusation” nonsense.
7. Batman vs Superman: Dawn of Justice (2016)
Not one of the better films but it does actually address the intense amount of property damage done by Superman which I think is a legitimate and conservative-minded gripe. However, it also deals with the misguided notion that disliking someone (for property damage reasons) means they’re evil and you get to kill them. Also, someone gets wrongly accused of blowing up Congress in a false flag operation. Just saying.
6. Batman (1989)
A Capitalist hero saves a pretty lady from an old mobster with political ties. Pretty basically conservative-friendly.
5. Batman Forever (1995)
I’ll be real. This film gets a neutral rating because I do not think it even has a tangible plotline let alone a political bend.
4. The Dark Knight Rises (2012)
First of all, Anne Hathaway’s Catwoman is very high and mighty and against “rich people” while she literally is stealing constantly which is very lib to me. Also Bane, despite being a villain, makes some good points and I’m sorry that is just a fact. But the film does do a good job reminding us that we should oppose blanket immigration and refugee policies (lest they blow up the country).
3. Batman Returns (1992)
This film is anti-capitalist and anti-affordable energy. It was before its time hating on traditional power plants. It’s got a corporate criminal villain, it’s got polluted water, it’s got a penguin-man raised by animals (a liberal dream!). This one leans left.
2. The Batman (2022)
Lacking the discipline for a firm moral compass, the liberalism of the film abounds in its ideological convenience and contempt for consistent politics at all. Are rich people bad, are they good? Are politicians bad or good? Cops are the worst and you can’t trust them except in the end there’s like a million they trust. It’s all over the liberal map.
1. Batman and Robin (1997)
I just feel like the whole thing is a metaphor for climate change and I’m standing by it.