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What do we think Kari Lake is drinking at Thanksgiving this year? 



I don’t know about y’all but I need a drink. After this midterm and the subsequent unforced party schism created by grifters and dem operatives, I think a lot of our favorite politicians are probably thinking the same thing.

As Thanksgiving rapidly approaches, I’m thinking less about mashed potatoes and more about mulled wine and Magners. So here is what I think our favorite politicians are drinking at the family table this year plus recipes to channel their energy: 

  1. Kari Lake: Cranberry Mimosa 

Kari is a twist on a classic just like this drink. The cranberry mimosa is less sweet than the original making it more palatable for long term day drinking. Perfect for the tell-it-like-it-is warrior queen of Arizona who also happens to look gorgeous in cranberry.

Super simple and one of my favorites, the cranberry twist on the popular brunch mimosa allows for a bright holiday color and in an acceptable “before noon” drink. You can make individual glasses or mix up a gorgeous pitcher. 

Recipe: 1 part cranberry juice, 2 parts champagne

Bonus: garnish with frozen cranberries and a sprig of fresh rosemary to keep the drink cool and pretty and a little herbal.

  1. J.D. Vance: Irish Coffee

The newly elected Senator from Ohio is a man that comes from simple origins and with that comes simple tastes. A good old-fashioned Irish Coffee is the perfect festive treat for a cold Cleveland holiday.

Another simple classic and one of my favorite drinks when I travel around the holidays, Irish Coffee is warm, and a little sweet coats the soul against any hardships. 

Recipe: Two teaspoons of brown sugar, a shot of Irish Whiskey, half a cup of coffee, whipped cream (or a splash of cream lightly whipped) 

Variations: You can use Baileys instead of the sugar and cream (about a shot’s worth maybe two depending on your tastes) or sub out Irish Whiskey for Kentucky Bourbon and call it a Kentucky Coffee.

  1. Donald Trump: Diet Coke 

President Trump doesn’t drink much or any alcohol and is known to love Diet Coke. It’s the perfect drink for the President. High energy, fizzy and has a bit of a cult following. If you’re a Diet Coke drinker, you’re a heavy diet coke drinker. There’s no fair-weather fandom here. 

As a diet coke addict myself, I endorse this holiday choice wholeheartedly. 

Recipe: Crack open a can and enjoy 

Variations: Pour the diet coke into a glass and add a lemon, lime, or orange wedge for a festive citrusy kick

  1. Ron Desantis: Apple Cider Mojito 

Mojitos are a classic and beloved cocktail in sunny Florida and ever since Governor DeSantis has been at the helm, there’s been a lot of new residents from the Big Apple taking their first sweet sips (of the mojito and freedom). Coming off a 20 point re-elect victory, DeSantis can savor the festive flavors of the old and the new.

Mojitos are refreshing treats for warm caribbean holiday goers and the Apple Cider gives them that special holiday zest. Mojitos can seem daunting but they’re pretty easy to make once you have the ingredients compiled. 

Recipe: 1 cup apple cider, ¼ cup cinnamon simple syrup (sold on Amazon and other retailers), ¼ cup rum of choice, 2 tablespoons orange juice, handful of mint leaves (muddle some to release flavor if you’d like), splash of sparkling water

Bonus: Garnish with chopped apples and a stick of sugar cane to make it authentic.

  1. Rand Paul: Hot Toddy

Kentucky’s favorite son, Rand Paul would certainly do a bourbon drink. But Old Fashioned doesn’t quite suit him. A bit of a rebel with a penchant for history, Rand Paul will give a detailed analysis on the state of the constitution by a roaring fire with a delicious Hot Toddy.

Hot Toddy’s aren’t my favorite because I’m not much for bourbon, but they’re a go-to drink for cold weather and bourbon drinkers with a sense of nostalgia and whimsy. 

Recipe: Put the kettle on and pour 3 parts boiling water into a mug, add a shot of your favorite bourbon (or you could sub whiskey), two teaspoons lemon juice and 2 teaspoons honey. Stir until honey is dissolved. 

Bonus: Garnish with star anise and a lemon wedge or a cinnamon stick

Variations: Add more honey to taste. You can also add tea to the boiling water to add a soothing herbal flavor to the toddy. Finally, if you don’t like whiskey, you can sub rum for a different flavor but similar experience. 

  1. Mitt Romney: Milk 

Mitt Romney drinks straight full lactose milk with his turkey and gravy. 

Studies have shown that people who drink milk plain with dinner are more likely to be psychopaths than any other demographic (probably). 

Recipe: Pour milk. Lick lips. 

  1. Tim Scott: Pecan Pie Martini 

Tim Scott is the kind of guy to be confident enough in himself and his manhood to drink something sweet and delicious. He brings Krispy Kremes to Senate vote-a-ramas and he’s not missing out on a delicious sweet cocktail to remember what he’s thankful for. Even though it’s really Georgia who is known for pecans, South Carolina is just next door and holds their own in a pecan pie contest.

A Pecan Pie Martini is just the thing for guests who want to drink their dessert (why waste a course?). Plus if you sub them for actual pie it’s one less thing to put in the oven. 

Recipe: 2 shots of pecan liqueur (a common brand is Praline), 1.5 shots of RumChata, 1.5 shots of vanilla vodka, half a cup of half and half. Shake or stir.

Bonus: Garnish the rim with crushed pecans and sugar. 

Variations: You can substitute the vanilla vodka for bourbon and the pecan liqueur for creme de cacao for less sweet and more bite. 

  1. Young Kim: Thanksgiving Margarita 

Young Kim is a California girl who probably knows a good marg when she tastes one. But it’s the holidays so she’ll want to spice it up! The Thanksgiving marg is the perfect twist on a Cali classic. 

Everyone loves a good margarita and giving it a Thanksgiving twist will delight and impress your guests. Especially if you live in the southern United States where the weather is still nice and warm for your Thanksgiving fiesta. 

Recipe: Equal parts (about a shot each) of apple cider, pear juice, tequila of choice, Grand Marinier (or orange liqueur), crushed ice, and salt for the rim. 

Bonus: A squeeze of fresh lime will put it over the edge. Garnish with a lime wedge or apple slice or both.

Who did I miss? What will you be drinking to toast your gratefulness and wash away your election headache?